“I screwed up big time. Such a thing could have happened to none, other than me,” I kept repeating to myself
People who know me closely would have expected the same thing. I felt like I was the dumbest person in the whole world. The thought of the incident kept on torturing me again and again. I couldn’t sleep thinking about what would have happened if I had been more careful. I knew that she might have been waiting for my call.
“It could have happened to anybody,” I tried to console myself.
The next day, I visited the restaurant. I went and took the same corner place where we sat last night. For a moment I felt as if she was sitting next to me. After a moment, the waiter came for taking the order.
“Do you recognize me” I asked the waiter.
“yeah! You were here yesterday. So…..date again?” He asked bluntly.
“No….I mean there is something wrong but do you know anything about the girl sitting here with me last night?” I asked in an intense way as if everything in my life was dependent upon the answer.
The waiter’s face took the expression as if he was being questioned for murder.
“I don’t know anything,” he replied with a time lag of one millisecond after my question. I somehow got the idea that he misunderstood the situation. I made him sit beside me and explained, what happened.
“I don’t know anything” was his reply again but this time in a calmer way. He still wore the expression as if it was he who had lost the number of his girlfriend. It seemed that he wholly empathized with me.
I kept visiting the place at the same time thinking that there might be some feeble chances of her being there. Every time I visited the place, the waiter came to console me.
“You will find her one day and everything will be all right,” he used to say in the same tone. It seemed that he truly commiserated with me. Time passed by but things didn’t change. Finally it was time for me to leave for Jamshedpur. I went to the restaurant for the last time and left a note with the waiter which said.
‘It’s me! I am sorry but I lost your number that night. Please call as soon as you receive this note.’ My number was underneath that.
Although the odds of finding her were against me, I somehow believed that the chapter was not over yet.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
but it happened
I was holding her hand at that time. She slowly stood from her chair. “I have to leave but promise me that you would call tonight,” she said squeezing my hand.
“Yes,” I said, being not able to speak anything except that. Then she slowly removed her hand and went downstairs. I followed her down just when her father arrived in his car in the rain. She scurried towards the car with her umbrella as I watched her footsteps which splashed in the ankle deep water. In a moment she was inside and the car gained speed. Just then the glass was lowered and she gave a glance at me requesting me with her dark gleaming eyes to call her.
The incident that happened looked so surrealistic to me that I started pondering whether it really happened. Subconsciously I went to my bike and started it not realizing that it was raining. I still felt her soft hands upon my fingertips. My mind was occupied by her thoughts all the way back home. It was when I reached home that I realized that I was drenched in the rain. I changed my clothes and put the clothes in the washing machine to be washed. After that I was having dinner preoccupied with her thought only to realize that I had to call her. And then a chilling shiver went through my spine. Her phone no was in the paper which was in my jeans pocket that was washed in the tub. I quickly ran to the washing machine only to find the paper which had become blue and had no trace of the number. I tried to read it but it was next to impossible.
“Yes,” I said, being not able to speak anything except that. Then she slowly removed her hand and went downstairs. I followed her down just when her father arrived in his car in the rain. She scurried towards the car with her umbrella as I watched her footsteps which splashed in the ankle deep water. In a moment she was inside and the car gained speed. Just then the glass was lowered and she gave a glance at me requesting me with her dark gleaming eyes to call her.
The incident that happened looked so surrealistic to me that I started pondering whether it really happened. Subconsciously I went to my bike and started it not realizing that it was raining. I still felt her soft hands upon my fingertips. My mind was occupied by her thoughts all the way back home. It was when I reached home that I realized that I was drenched in the rain. I changed my clothes and put the clothes in the washing machine to be washed. After that I was having dinner preoccupied with her thought only to realize that I had to call her. And then a chilling shiver went through my spine. Her phone no was in the paper which was in my jeans pocket that was washed in the tub. I quickly ran to the washing machine only to find the paper which had become blue and had no trace of the number. I tried to read it but it was next to impossible.
interested!
” It seems that I am in love with you” I asked in a nonchalant way not understanding the intensity of the situation.
She couldn’t stop smiling at me for that. “Do you know what you are saying?” She asked pronouncing the words in her laughter.
Then suddenly I realized that I made the same mistake again. “Actually you do not understand the gravity of the situation. We have been talking for ten minutes and I have been in love with you the very time I saw you so I couldn’t stop myself from asking that question because in five minutes you will be gone,” I replied trying to rectify the situation. I didn’t know whether I made sense or not.
“Do you really believe in something like that as love at first sight”. She retorted after a pause. “Come on it is not what you see in movie that you propose a girl the very next moment you see her,” she mumbled.
Deep inside I took a sigh of relief. At least it is not like what normally happens to me. She seemed to be interested.
“Movies are the manifestations of the reality. Moreover don’t you think that there is some sort of thing between us? Don’t you feel it?” I said it pleadingly not knowing whether it made sense or not to her. At least it didn’t make to me.
She was silent for a moment and said, “I believe that there is something between us and I also think that I have developed a liking towards you.” And she tried to touch my hands as she sobbed. I couldn’t make out why she was sobbing but I couldn’t believe that it was happening. She liked me. To be frank I kind of knew it when she asked me to come to her table. I saw it in her eyes but couldn’t explain how it was.
She then took out her pen and started scribbling something on a diary and said while tearing down a page, “Well I think that things could happen between us. This is going to be an abrupt ending to our conversation but I can’t help it because father will be here shortly and I couldn’t risk myself being seen with you. This is my phone number. Call me tonight. “
She couldn’t stop smiling at me for that. “Do you know what you are saying?” She asked pronouncing the words in her laughter.
Then suddenly I realized that I made the same mistake again. “Actually you do not understand the gravity of the situation. We have been talking for ten minutes and I have been in love with you the very time I saw you so I couldn’t stop myself from asking that question because in five minutes you will be gone,” I replied trying to rectify the situation. I didn’t know whether I made sense or not.
“Do you really believe in something like that as love at first sight”. She retorted after a pause. “Come on it is not what you see in movie that you propose a girl the very next moment you see her,” she mumbled.
Deep inside I took a sigh of relief. At least it is not like what normally happens to me. She seemed to be interested.
“Movies are the manifestations of the reality. Moreover don’t you think that there is some sort of thing between us? Don’t you feel it?” I said it pleadingly not knowing whether it made sense or not to her. At least it didn’t make to me.
She was silent for a moment and said, “I believe that there is something between us and I also think that I have developed a liking towards you.” And she tried to touch my hands as she sobbed. I couldn’t make out why she was sobbing but I couldn’t believe that it was happening. She liked me. To be frank I kind of knew it when she asked me to come to her table. I saw it in her eyes but couldn’t explain how it was.
She then took out her pen and started scribbling something on a diary and said while tearing down a page, “Well I think that things could happen between us. This is going to be an abrupt ending to our conversation but I can’t help it because father will be here shortly and I couldn’t risk myself being seen with you. This is my phone number. Call me tonight. “
the blunder
”Yeah !“ came my subconscious reply. ”It’s a very nice book. One of my favorites.” I added the next moment.
“Oh yeah! I have been reading this since morning .Getting to the end of it,” she answered. “The best part is when the boy takes her to meet his parents but I felt sorry when she dies.” I said.
”Why don’t you come and sit over here?” She urged. “Off course if you are not waiting for someone else.” She added with a polite smile.
For a moment it seemed that it was natural of her asking me to go and sit. Then I found that there was some attraction between us. “No ….i mean I have been waiting for my friend for quite some time but it seems that he is stuck somewhere in the rain.” I replied fumbling with my words. And then I moved to the chair near her table. I couldn’t believe it was happening.
“So what do you do?” she asked to start a conversation.
“I am an engineering student. I study in Jamshedpur. Here for my summer vacations” I answered. “And what do you do?” I asked to keep a flow of the conversation.
“I am doing my graduation from Delhi University in physics. I took my final semester exams and I am waiting for my results “She replied.”And how is Jamshedpur like?” she asked.
“it’s kind of hot during summers but it is a nice and clean place “ I replied almost the very moment she asked .” so Delhi must be pleasant to live?” I asked formally.
Just then, her cell phone rang. It seemed that it was her father and he was coming to pick her up in about five minutes. While she was talking to her father I thought that, the conversation between us seemed to sway away from the subject which I intended to bring it in. As I have said before that I was so dumb talking to girls that I often made such embarrassing mistakes. After she finished talking she began to stare at me with a faint smile.
"It seems that I am in love with you.”
“Oh yeah! I have been reading this since morning .Getting to the end of it,” she answered. “The best part is when the boy takes her to meet his parents but I felt sorry when she dies.” I said.
”Why don’t you come and sit over here?” She urged. “Off course if you are not waiting for someone else.” She added with a polite smile.
For a moment it seemed that it was natural of her asking me to go and sit. Then I found that there was some attraction between us. “No ….i mean I have been waiting for my friend for quite some time but it seems that he is stuck somewhere in the rain.” I replied fumbling with my words. And then I moved to the chair near her table. I couldn’t believe it was happening.
“So what do you do?” she asked to start a conversation.
“I am an engineering student. I study in Jamshedpur. Here for my summer vacations” I answered. “And what do you do?” I asked to keep a flow of the conversation.
“I am doing my graduation from Delhi University in physics. I took my final semester exams and I am waiting for my results “She replied.”And how is Jamshedpur like?” she asked.
“it’s kind of hot during summers but it is a nice and clean place “ I replied almost the very moment she asked .” so Delhi must be pleasant to live?” I asked formally.
Just then, her cell phone rang. It seemed that it was her father and he was coming to pick her up in about five minutes. While she was talking to her father I thought that, the conversation between us seemed to sway away from the subject which I intended to bring it in. As I have said before that I was so dumb talking to girls that I often made such embarrassing mistakes. After she finished talking she began to stare at me with a faint smile.
"It seems that I am in love with you.”
i can't forget that face
I started to climb the stairs languidly and as I entered the hall , I saw her sitting demurely at the corner table all by herself. The first thing that came to my mind on seeing her was the word ‘beautiful’. The image when I saw her for the first time still persists in my mind. She had donned a black salwar kameez with her hair falling loose and was reading the novel “love story” by Eric Segal. I remember reading it in one of my train journeys –it was about a couple and their love for which they struggle and in the end the girl dies. It was tragic but lovely.
I was so impressed by her that I thought, I would approach her but just then I came back to my senses. The ground reality is that I am very bad in talking with girls. I have never been comfortable with them as a result of which I hesitated talking to them. I am one of those unique species that God has created who have some innate quality of being dumb when it comes to interacting with the opposite sex. At first, I couldn’t adjust to the fact but as I grew up I realized that I was one among many. So I thanked God for at least creating so many people with the same quality besides me.
I prudently went and sat at the table beside hers and ordered for a coffee. I couldn’t stop glancing at her pleasant face. A strange feeling came to my mind as I glanced at her face which was partially hidden by her book. I thought that if she could fit into my life. Just then she kept the book on the table and started glancing at her watch. I thought that she might be waiting for someone.
As she was moving her eyes around the hall, I looked down because I felt unpleasant of the thought of being found staring at her. Just then I felt her gazing at me for quiet sometime. I was not sure about it but felt hesitant to look directly at her. So I moved my eyes around to her face.
Her eyes were gleaming and the look penetrated straight into my heart. On top of that she gave a smile. For a moment I could not figure out what was that for. She then said “it’s very rainy outside!”
I couldn’t believe she was talking to me.
I was so impressed by her that I thought, I would approach her but just then I came back to my senses. The ground reality is that I am very bad in talking with girls. I have never been comfortable with them as a result of which I hesitated talking to them. I am one of those unique species that God has created who have some innate quality of being dumb when it comes to interacting with the opposite sex. At first, I couldn’t adjust to the fact but as I grew up I realized that I was one among many. So I thanked God for at least creating so many people with the same quality besides me.
I prudently went and sat at the table beside hers and ordered for a coffee. I couldn’t stop glancing at her pleasant face. A strange feeling came to my mind as I glanced at her face which was partially hidden by her book. I thought that if she could fit into my life. Just then she kept the book on the table and started glancing at her watch. I thought that she might be waiting for someone.
As she was moving her eyes around the hall, I looked down because I felt unpleasant of the thought of being found staring at her. Just then I felt her gazing at me for quiet sometime. I was not sure about it but felt hesitant to look directly at her. So I moved my eyes around to her face.
Her eyes were gleaming and the look penetrated straight into my heart. On top of that she gave a smile. For a moment I could not figure out what was that for. She then said “it’s very rainy outside!”
I couldn’t believe she was talking to me.
the events that led to it
It is incredible that a small mistake can blow you out of proportion. Three months and it seems that the intensity is dying but I still think that it could have been different.
I was at home that summer struggling with the mundane things, preparing myself for the placements that were to come after the vacations. The weather was rainy for quite a few weeks and everything was looking dull. I was waiting for some of my friends to come back for the vacations. Well the only thing that I was enjoying out there was my mom’s food.
It was one of those rainy afternoons when I was lying on a couch with my c++ book and enjoying a Bon Jovi song-those rare moments when you actually enjoy something. Then after a while the telephone rang. Mom picked it up and shouted that it was my friend. I ran to the other room and received the phone and I was glad to hear from my friend who was studying in Bangalore. He said that he came the very afternoon and asked me to come and meet him at Central in the evening at 6 o clock. Central was a place where lots of students come to hang around, chat and have some fast food. It was the only nice hangout place back home. I was very delighted after the call and started thinking that at least the days will no longer be boring with my friend back here.
I started at 5 30 with my bike after the rain subsided but it was still drizzling. When I reached, the place was as usual teeming with people. I walked inside and somehow managed to get a table and a hot cup of coffee. Just then the rain started pouring accompanied with the thunder. People started flocking inside for shelter. I started staring at the rush of people. Half an hour passed away slowly and so did two cups of coffee. I called up my friend but as expected, he was stuck somewhere in the rain. As the place was getting crowdy, I decided to go upstairs which remains vacant most of the time.
It was 6 31 as I glimpsed at my cell phone watch and just then this thing happened to me…
I was at home that summer struggling with the mundane things, preparing myself for the placements that were to come after the vacations. The weather was rainy for quite a few weeks and everything was looking dull. I was waiting for some of my friends to come back for the vacations. Well the only thing that I was enjoying out there was my mom’s food.
It was one of those rainy afternoons when I was lying on a couch with my c++ book and enjoying a Bon Jovi song-those rare moments when you actually enjoy something. Then after a while the telephone rang. Mom picked it up and shouted that it was my friend. I ran to the other room and received the phone and I was glad to hear from my friend who was studying in Bangalore. He said that he came the very afternoon and asked me to come and meet him at Central in the evening at 6 o clock. Central was a place where lots of students come to hang around, chat and have some fast food. It was the only nice hangout place back home. I was very delighted after the call and started thinking that at least the days will no longer be boring with my friend back here.
I started at 5 30 with my bike after the rain subsided but it was still drizzling. When I reached, the place was as usual teeming with people. I walked inside and somehow managed to get a table and a hot cup of coffee. Just then the rain started pouring accompanied with the thunder. People started flocking inside for shelter. I started staring at the rush of people. Half an hour passed away slowly and so did two cups of coffee. I called up my friend but as expected, he was stuck somewhere in the rain. As the place was getting crowdy, I decided to go upstairs which remains vacant most of the time.
It was 6 31 as I glimpsed at my cell phone watch and just then this thing happened to me…
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